As we walked into the Black Locust Cafe, I noticed the span of fliers and business cards that were scattered all across the wall to our right. We walked up to the counter and ordered a maple latte, cold brew, and a plain black coffee. We took our seats right in front of the black painted wall, the wall I had seen in all the pictures online. I loved that wall the second I saw it. There were plants everywhere, a bright and fresh contrast against the dark walls. We drank our coffee in that little booth by the front window, until eventually making a move to sit at the bar, right by all the plants in the windowsill. I just couldn’t get over how beautiful the light shined through that front window. This was such a different kind of Coffee Musings for me, instead of spending the time talking one on one with the person I was photographing, I took the backseat as I listened to the conversations around me. This time Andrew joined me and I got to watch the bond between two of the most important men in my life, grow and flourish.

A few weekends ago, my dad came to Wisconsin to visit us. I went into it with no expectations, just knowing that it was the right step forward. After spending a couple of days with him, it was easy to see why this was meant to happen with how effortlessly he fit into our family and our lives. We spent the few days he was here spending time as a family. The weather was warm and the sun was high as we played games, jumped on the trampoline, hung out and drank beer, all while Andrew broke in his new grill (thanks for the grill dad!) and cooked us dinner. On one of the days during his visit, Andrew and I took my dad to downtown Madison to see the sights and visit a coffee shop so he could take part in my Coffee Musings project.

When I ponder on the past year it’s incredible how much has shifted and changed. From who I am as a person, the art I create, the people God has brought into my life, nothing currently in my life has any resemblance to what it was merely a year ago. It’s as if a new season of my life has started and I’ve discarded all of the things that held me back in the past. In this current season of my life, I’ve watched my relationship with my dad develop and take form. I always used to envy those people who talked about their dads. How their fathers were the ones who they could talk to, the ones who gave logical advice, the ones who pushed them to be better, and the ones who were the proudest of them. For my entire life, I convinced myself to be ok without it. I didn’t need it. Plenty of other people made do and survived and I knew I could do the same. But now that I’ve finally put myself in a better place and gave myself permission to have this relationship, I can’t possibly imagine my life without it.

Our relationship shaped and formed by complete happenstance, like most good things in my life. There is always evidence that it was meant to be and not forced by my own hand. I was photographing new images for my dear friend Renee’s website and after driving home and putting my camera gear away, I pulled my phone from my back pocket to see that I’d gotten a text from my dad. At this point, I had been wanting to establish better communication that went beyond just random comments and likes on Facebook but had no idea how to go about it. We hadn’t really spoken in years and hadn’t physically seen each other in over 10 years, would he even be interested in becoming a bigger role our lives? We are a pretty intense crew and it takes a special kind of person to put up with our shenanigans. There have been countless people in the past who’ve come into our lives, only to remove themselves when we weren’t what they expected. I wasn’t sure I could handle any more heartbreak, especially from someone who I’d always admired and loved growing up. I remember being so nervous, butterflies filled my belly as we started texting back and forth, creating the first baby steps of what would inevitably turn into a strong relationship. That night I called Rhonda and told her the details and how I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening and how too good to be true it felt. She responded with “you deserve something good to finally happen to you”.

A few nights later, my dad and I jumped on video chat and spent hours going over the past and all that we missed out on each other’s lives. Retelling stories from each others perspective, seeing one another’s situation in a completely different light. Over ten years of silence was shattered that night as we both shared our hearts as honestly and transparently as we possibly could. And from then on we continued our video chats once a week, catching one another up on the current goings-on during the time in between our talks. We started to slowly get to know one another and connected over our past and current trials. On one of those first video calls, he announced that he was looking into booking a flight to come to visit us and just a few short weeks later, Andrew and I were parking our car in the airport garage and making the walk up to the greeting area.

When Andrew and I first bought our house, I remember walking into the dining area and feeling God say this home will be filled with people. For a long time, I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant. I had a pretty good idea but it wasn’t until the visit with my dad happened that I knew for sure. On one of the nights that he was here, I walked down the stairs and stopped when I saw that Rhonda, Mark, Andrew, and my dad were laughing together in my kitchen. Suddenly my heart swelled and I knew exactly what God had meant. For the longest time, Andrew and I talked about how one day we wanted to have a big home where our family and the people we love would gather. A place where we could grow our roots and create a sense of togetherness and welcoming for the people who would visit. For years it was just this silly dream until that moment on the stairs where I got to see it come to fruition before my very eyes. And the best part is that our family isn’t even done growing as God continues to bring more people into the mix.

And now here we are, a few weeks after his visit and we’ve continued this line of communication and strengthening of this bond. Planning future trips and things to do as a family. It’s as if there hasn’t been a huge distance between us for most of my life and that we’ve always been so close. He’s been the person who pushes me to get out of my comfort zone and encourages me to pursue my dreams, all while respecting my struggles and my boundaries. He’s the definition of what a loving and caring father/grandfather should be and I so look forward to how he further meshes into our lives, especially the lives of our three little girls. Not many people would be willing to spend hours playing tea party with my girls, but he did. Not many people would stop their day to listen to me ramble on about my mental health issues, but he did. Not many people would walk into our lives with nothing but our best interest at heart, but he did.

Thank you so much for all you’ve done, dad. I don’t think I could properly express through words how much you mean to me and to my family. You’re stuck with us for good now.

During this particular Coffee Musings, I had an idea of not only taking pictures but also filming certain clips to create a video of the whole experience and the moments that stuck out to me during the visit. You can check out and watch the video down below!